It’s common for your loved ones to refuse assistance as they may feel as though they are losing their sense of independence and identity. They also experience changes, both physically and mentally, that may be different for them. Hence, we need to understand how we can help our loved ones. Here is what you should do when a loved one refuses assistance!
Evaluate Their Situation
Look at your parents’ living conditions, mental health, and activities, before you do anything. What is it that your parents are still capable of? Where is immediate assistance required? What is their self-perception? How important are self-sufficiency and a sense of purpose to them? When it comes to opening the conversation, assessing your aging parents’ life is important since it helps you to be clear and prioritize your worries. This also aids in aligning your remarks with their values and what drives their behavior.
Focus on the Positives
When interacting with your elderly loved ones, try to keep the conversation positive. Rather than telling your parents what they can’t do and stating their limitations, focus on what matters to them and what they value. If independence is a big part of their identity, tell them that accepting a little help will keep them independent and allow them to keep doing the things they like. When talking about caregivers, it’s important to emphasize that they’ll be a form of companionship for your loved ones, not a source of limitation.
Make It About You
This may seem counterintuitive, but it might work. Reframe the conversation such that it is all about you. You’re the one who’s concerned about them, and the stress you’re feeling because of your incessant worries is becoming too much for you to bear (and your siblings). Focusing the discussion on your needs may be another approach to persuade them to accept some assistance. Many parents dislike the idea of becoming a burden or a source of problems for their children, so bringing it up may be another way to persuade them.
Get Expert Help
If you and your loved ones are still at odds, you may need to enlist the expertise of professionals to persuade them that assistance is required. Your parent’s physician, friend, or support coordinator are all professionals you can consult. By enlisting the aid of others, you can demonstrate to your loved ones that your worries are valid. This also emphasizes how important your parents are. With a strong support structure in place, they can see that others are concerned about their happiness and wellbeing.
Providing your parents with a variety of care options is crucial because it gives them the feeling that they have a say and that their opinions are valued. However, when it comes to their care, you’ll still want to establish certain limits. Each alternative you provide to your loved one must address the areas where they require assistance.
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