Your aging parents say they will never move. This is a common, exhausting scenario whereby older adults display symptoms that signify they need greater care. However, every time you suggest moving to a retirement community, the discussion becomes heated and an argument ensues. Most often than not, such a scenario takes place because children notice their parents’ health taking a turn for the worse or they themselves are experiencing caregiver burnout. If you are feeling guilty after having relocated your aging parents to memory care services in Denver, NC, here’s why you should not.
Reasons Why Children Feel Guilty
Even when you know moving your aging parents to a memory care community is the right thing to do in order to ensure they have access to specialized care, we cannot avoid feeling a sense of guilt. Emotions can range from feeling overly inadequate to feeling overly responsible.
- Regardless of how young or old we are, the role reversal is always uncomfortable. We want to always let our parents remain as the decision-makers. We feel guilty when the role is reversed and we have to decide for them. However, this is essential to ensure our parents get the best care that meets their personal and medical needs.
- We may feel that we have failed as a child. We assume that by relocating our parents to a retirement community, we declare that we do not want to be responsible over their care and wellbeing. On the contrary, we are giving them even better care by trusting the skills and expertise of professionals who are better trained in caring for the elderly with changing needs.
- We made a promise to take care of them at home instead of leaving it to professionals at a retirement community. However, as their retirement needs change over the years, we have to make the best decision for their own comfort and safety, especially with symptoms of memory loss.
- We feel like we are asking too much from our parents. Relocating them to a new home is like forcing them to adapt to a new environment, make new friends, and navigate unfamiliar schedules. However, the changes will let them achieve so much more including gaining better health through regular programming that supports their mental and physical wellbeing.
Combating Feelings of Guilt
- Accept that feeling guilty is normal as there can be conflicting feelings between you and your parents. However, know that the decision you made is for their own good and it was not based on your unwillingness to continue caring for them.
- Reach out for support from your siblings and other relatives. Your loved ones will be able to alleviate your feelings of guilt after having relocated your parents to a retirement community.
- Compare your parents’ state of wellbeing before and after the move. They are set to enjoy many beneficial effects to their body and mind while also having the opportunity to make new friends. Focus on the benefits of moving to a retirement community.