An older loved one showing signs of memory impairment or cognitive decline happens more often than we think, and when that happens, we will need to source for the appropriate level of care according to the severity of their condition. Sometimes, the care they need requires them to move out of their homes to memory care, and this is always a difficult conversation to have.
It is by no means an easy decision, but for the good of our loved ones, we cannot possibly avoid this topic forever. So how can you better broach the subject with someone with dementia? Here’s our short guide on talking about memory care with your family.
When to Consider Memory Care
If your loved one’s cognitive condition has progressed and they are displaying serious symptoms of Alzheimer’s or related dementias, it’s probably time to look into moving to memory care. Other telling signs would be if they show a sudden decline in their ability to care for themselves or their living space. At this point, you should discuss with the family to plan for your parent’s future care.
Respect Your Loved One’s Opinions
At the end of the day, the key beneficiary and the one most affected by the move to memory care will be your loved one. As such, it is important that you demonstrate respect for their views by practicing active listening. This means you should constantly validate their feelings, and acknowledge them by showing empathy, such as including statements like “I understand how you are feeling right now.” or “I know that is difficult for you to make this big decision.”.
It would also be helpful if you could paraphrase certain terms relating to memory care by replacing them with more familiar ones, to make them more receptive to the idea.
Seek More Opinions and References
Getting the whole family involved in the discussion would provide a form of support for your loved one. This makes them feel less alone, and with certain more complex medical or cost-related decisions, it is not only good to have everyone informed and on board, but it also allows your loved ones to seek everyone’s views which could help them in their decision.
Another way to help them inch along in the progress would be to let them hear from people who have personally benefited from memory care. If you know of someone who is currently in memory care or they have family members in memory care, arrange for them to speak to your loved one so that your parent can hear for themselves what the experience is like and how it may benefit them too.
Arrange a Visit
Many older adults still have the misconception that retirement communities are no different from nursing homes. Clearing the air on this would make them more receptive to memory care. To achieve this, we recommend that you arrange a visit to tour a memory care community, which gives your loved one the chance to get a feel of what it’s like as a resident. It may also be helpful for your loved ones to speak to the team members as these people will be the main persons caring for them should they move to memory care.
